


On Everything and Nothing

by bicycles



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Novel, M/M, Non-Canonical Character Death, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 12:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8249803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicycles/pseuds/bicycles
Summary: Spock and Jim return to Earth to pay their respects to Bones' father. In the process, their relationship evolves.





	

     

_1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you._

 

 

For all the planets that they'd visited, nothing seemed as strange as seeing Spock driving a truck. It wasn't just any truck. It looked as though it had been built in the late 80s, the _19_ 80s to be exact, and it was painted bright red. And it was blasting that terrible Earth music that Jaylah had discovered, that -- what was it again? 

"The Beastie Boys, Mr. Spock?" he said, as he climbed into the passenger's seat. The truck was as spotless inside as it was outside. "I didn't take you for a fan of Earth classics."

"It has a certain flavor to it that I find amenable. I do not understand it."

"Of course, you don't." 

That the two of them had almost gone their separate ways after Altamid seemed far away now. They had already returned to Earth once to see Jaylah off to Starfleet, and now they were back to say goodbye to Bones's dad. Only a few months ago the idea of being back on Earth had seemed like a necessary reprieve. But something had changed, something that didn't quite fit between him and the universe as it had always seemed to be.

It was precisely this _something_ that made him turn from the gaze of his first officer. "So, where'd you learn to drive this?"

"You are surprised I can drive a standard Earth vehicle?"

He wanted to say, _You always surprise me._ But that didn't quite fit, did it?

"Commander, you have never given me a reason to believe that you could drive a standard Earth vehicle. Let alone one of this caliber. You are practically American, Mr. Spock." 

It was a compliment, and it hung uneasily in the air between them. 

"It is not a unique ability of the United States of America to drive."

"Right," said Jim, watching Spock shift gears. "But it is a unique ability to own something as wasteful and as impossible as this." And okay, the way that Spock's long fingers wrapped around the gearshift, _that_ wasn't supposed to be fascinating. Jim was from here. He could drive a stick shift as well as the best of them, and he had -- right over the nearest cliff. "I know Bones appreciates you coming." 

"You forget that Leonard is my friend as well as yours. He saved my life."

"Yes, but you don't always see eye to eye. You know what I mean?"

A puzzled look crossed his friend's face. "That is a colloquialism I do not understand."

"It means, you're not the greatest at getting along. I think you both like me too much." He hadn't meant to put it like that, only he had, and now he had to live with that choice of words. He leaned against the window, watching the fields of Georgia pass them by. He didn't like the way that Spock was looking at him, just out of the corner of his eye. "I mean -- I don't know. You fight. A lot." 

" _We_ have fought in the past, and yet you would not say that we do not see eye-to-eye."

" _Spock_. We're a great team. But you and Bones? Never saw that one coming."

"It is said, 'to expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.' "

"What?" 

"Oscar Wilde said, 'To expect the unexpected…'"

"Yea, I got it." It was just like Spock to say something impossible right when he'd thought they were getting somewhere. 

\---

The truck turned down one of those long dirt roads that seemed to represent the stereotypical image of the American South. The McCoy's had always lived at the bottom of this particular road. It was, Jim knew, where Bones had once tried to hitch his way back to school, after having an argument with his father about the merits of medical school (Bones hadn't yet decided that he'd wanted to be a doctor like his old man). And it was where Bones had hitched his way _back_ after Jocelyn had left him with Joanna. And, much later, Jim had come back here with Bones.

It had been a short visit. Bones had wanted to tell his dad in person about the five year mission, something about not having good phone service all the way out here, and Jim had wanted to avoid something. To avoid all the overwhelming feelings that came with taking on a five year mission to outer space. The youngest captain in Starfleet history, five year mission, all of it had seemed impossible at the time. They had come here together to avoid something greater than themselves, and in doing so, it had become a place as important to Jim as it was to Bones. 

It was strange to see the house again. In spite of all those years away, nothing had changed. One of the shutters still looked half-broken. The third step up to the front porch had a creak in it, which Jim almost avoided out of habit. And when he turned back to look at Spock, all he could see for miles were fields upon fields. 

"Look, you don't have to come in. I know that all of this, it's not a part of Vulcan culture. Bones would understand, if you felt more comfortable…"

"Jim."

"Spock?"

"I have already chosen to be here."

And that was like Spock, too, Jim thought. To be impossible and straightforward all at once. Had the universe shifted so far forward after Altamid that he couldn't find his footing? Or, had it always been like this, and he was only now able to see it? He wished he knew the answer to those questions, more or less.

\---

It was hard to go to the viewing. 

The room was filled with former patients, neighbors, people Jim had never seen before. He nodded at those who knew him -- even in this part of the world, he seemed to be a sort of legend. And there, with Commander Spock at his side in full dress uniform, it felt like maybe he was a little bit too big for that tiny funeral home with its wilting wax flowers and paisley chairs. But when he passed the body, the body of a man that he'd only ever known in passing and yet felt like he'd known almost as well as his own father (not well enough), he knew that this was the exact spot in the universe he needed to be.

"You got to admit, Bones. We've a way of meeting in strange places."

"Yea, I'm glad you're here, Jim. Spock, too. Even if the green-eared hobgoblin can't appreciate a good brandy. I'd never have got rid of all them relatives without you two." 

They were sitting out on the back steps, looking at nothing in particular. The viewing had been hard, but this was easier, just the three of them. No regulations. No missions. Just _friends_. He felt a cooler weight settle next to him. _Spock_. 

"You would not say that if you had been to Vulcan."

"I'm sorry, Spock."

"As am I, Leonard."

And in that moment, something passed between his best friend and his first officer, something that Jim could only grasp the bare bones of. It felt like they were speaking a language entirely apart from his, and that, he knew didn't make any sense at all.

The funeral was just as hard as the viewing. Worse, still, as he'd had to sit in one of those tiny church pews. Churches reminded him of his mother. Not because Mrs. Kirk had taken up religion after her stint in space, but because of the complete lack of religion in the Kirk household. When Jim had first met Bones, he'd never imagined that this man had once witnessed a religious revival. That this man's father had grown up probably in this very church. It was the 23rd century, and yet the world felt small. Smaller than it ought to have felt with his best friend in front of him, dressed in what had to be his best and yet too small suit. 

"The whole town's here."

"Yea, well, the old man had a way with people."

Jim almost smiled. It was a way that neither of them had truly inherited yet. "We'll get there."

"I sure as hell hope not."

And when Bones got up to do his part, Spock's hand reached to cover his. It was strange to be sitting, listening to his best friend read from Scriptures that he didn't understand and to feel _calmer_.

"Thank you, Spock."

\---

Afterwards, the relatives came again. He'd like to think that escaping had been his idea. That he'd smoothly stopped Spock in between salad and dessert and asked to just disappear for awhile. But of course, it had been Spock who'd stopped him, and it had been Spock who knew that he needed a break.

"I know of a place."

"You know of a place?" It was such a strange statement that Jim had simply agreed. He had had to see the _place_ that Spock _knew_ of.

But Spock didn't clarify. He just drove until all that existed were fields, fields on top of fields on top of fields. So much green that Jim was beginning to think the vast darkness of space was unreal. That they'd spent the past three and a half years in some sort of illusion. How had they travelled from planet to planet when all of this had remained exactly as it was?

It was nearly sunset when they'd stopped. The last rays of daylight were kissing the horizon, leaving long shadows in their place. Jim had been so lost in his thoughts (something about life and death and green space) that he hadn't even noticed they'd stopped until he'd heard the door shut. And then he realized that Spock was outside the truck, and doing Spock things. Which was an incredibly inane thought. Spock was probably just standing outside the truck, looking around with his eyebrows raised. Okay, _Spock things_.

"How do you know of this place?" It was more a scenic overlook than a place. From here, they could see the valley down below.

"It is in the guidebook," said Spock. 

"You had time to read a guidebook on the state of Georgia?"

"No." Spock seemed to be looking at him in that way that Spock always seemed to be looking at him, which was to say _through_ him. "It was my mother's guidebook. Ambassador Spock left it with me. I did not think that I'd ever have the opportunity to come here."

Jim wasn't about to point out that Spock's mother had a guidebook on the state of Georgia, or that that was incredibly random. Of course, none of that made any sense. But what made less sense was that sense of calm that he felt in the presence of his first officer, that sense that if he stepped closer into his first officer's space that calm might swallow him up completely and leave him with only nothingness. A good sort of nothingness.

"I'm sorry, Commander."

"Jim, please. We are past formal titles. We are friends."

When Spock said the word "friends," Jim felt like he must have been saying something else. It didn't fit with the image that Jim had of their relationship, of that something between them that seemed to make Jim feel like nothingness and Spock like _everythingness_. 

"We are more than that. You saved my life."

"And you mine. To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect."

Jim was about to question Spock's use of that quote in this particular instance, particularly as it made no sense, when he felt Spock's hand on his again. "Spock -- you're full of surprises."

Which was about precisely the moment that Spock kissed him. It was sweet and vast and nothingness _all at once_.

\---

"You still haven't told me how you learned to drive. Or where you found this relic."

They were lying in the back of the truck now, hands almost touching, the vastness of the sky all around them. He knew now that what had shifted in the universe was this, this _thing_ that didn't fit any of the words that he knew. 

"I learned how to drive at Starfleet."

"You joined an elite space organization to learn how to drive?"

"No." Spock's fingers pressed against his, a Vulcan kiss. "I joined a space organization to reject my own people's culture and traditions. I learned to drive because it seemed fun. An illogical premise, and yet one that appealed to my _youth_."

"And my second question?"

"You asked me to make arrangements." Their eyes met, blue against brown. "I thought that this was a suitable choice."

Jim laughed aloud. "A red flatbed pickup truck? I'd thought you'd have gone for something, I don't know, more modern." 

"I can appreciate the aesthetic, even if I don't understand it."

"And me?" He felt his heart skip a beat. It was a dangerous question.

" _Ashayam_ , I will never understand you. It is why we are friends."

" _Friends._ "

"It is a possibility I have considered in depth."

He leaned closer to Spock, until their bodies were practically aligned. "I'm going to teach you some better Earth words for this _possibility_." The end was punctuated with a kiss, until all they had were kisses and no more words left. 

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote that fic about Spock & country music, only it came out of sort of sad since I just finished _Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe_. Any reminiscences are strictly from that text. I am in that phase where I write in the style of other authors and always hope for the best. Perhaps someday my writing voice will return to me and be my own.


End file.
